Being a Man

It's not easy being a man
Responsibilities, commitments and emotions tugging at you
Riteousness takes a back seat
But you do what a man has to...

And I looked back

I watched a gorgeous sunset the other day
And I looked back
I wanted to see the colours reflect
Off of your eyes

I woke up to a sunrise the other day
And I looked back
I wanted to see you watch it with me
While holding me tight

I heard a beautiful song the other day
And I looked back
I wanted to feel your arms around me
Dancing through the night

I loved a girl the other day
And I looked back
I wanted it to be you
As a matter of fact

I never left you the other day
And I looked back
We left each other
A cold hard fact

I realised the other day
And I looked back
I never got over you
My love still intact

I wanted you the other day
And I looked back
How can I hold her now
Her body's turned to Ash

Dirty Dream

Have you ever had a dirty dream?
The warm nights bring upon you
Have you ever had a dirty dream?
The sweat cools and sooths you

Have you ever had a dirty dream?
When your dream lover holds you
Have you ever had a dirty dream?
In the morning forget all she told you

Have you ever had a dirty dream?
Where Halley Berry called you
Have you ever had a dirty dream?
Where Angelina Jolie holds you

Have you ever had a dirty dream?
Where your dream love looks at you
Have you ever had a dirty dream?
Where her blue eyes reflect you

Have you ever had a dirty dream?
Where her face surprised you
Have you ever had a dirty dream?
Where she was the one right there beside you

Have you ever had a dirty dream?
About your wife who loves you
If so you had a dream
Of heaven that obsesses you

They say

They say it's bad, they say it's corrosive
They say it brings out the devil in all things
They say it hates the world and ruins lives, irrespective
They say

I know a man who loves to drink
Not because he has to but because he likes it
Once in a while he lets it take over
They say

When he is at the brink of consciousness
He mumbles worthless lyrics
If you only had the patience to listen to him
They say

It's the deepest truth he will ever utter
Under that heavenly state
No worldly bounds or superficial clutter
They say

Ignorance will treat it as rubbish
Love will treat is as humor
Friendship will treat it as the"good old times"
They say

Before he collapses, he remembers
And means every word
If it mentions you, should be honored
They say

Who ever thought a man could be so frail
Subject to mortal delight
I'm no better than any other
They say

From Adam and Eve to judgment day
The world would turn relentless
When a man stops breathing, it all makes sense
They say

Remember him for those words he uttered
In a state of clear mind
He meant it, liked it and may be even loved it
They say

Even if I am an Angel

Even if I am an Angel, Soaring above the clouds
No past, no future, not even a present
I would stop and look, your beautiful smile
Your beautiful body, time spent worth while

As I stopped and watched, lost track of time
I would loose my wings and fall down to earth
In the lust and hate I struggle
To make sense of this new life and this new world

Angels are God's messengers, with free passes to eternity
Do I want to live for ever?
A second I spend in your arms makes it clear
Life is not how long you live

In bed naked we lie as one
All my fellow angels, full o love and compassion
Try to relieve me of the pain to come
I have experienced eternity, come what may

Pain is some thing new to me
I watched her grow old and wither
I looked in the mirror, hope I grayed?
God did punish me for I have sinned

I watched her die in my cuddle
Look my eye in judgment
Said and did not, "Thank you"
Went to a world I may never enter

Today I'm still here breathing slowly
My love has been dead for a thousand years
I'm on my knees every dawn and dusk
"Forgive me father for I have sinned"

Raindrop

Why are raindrops called "innocent" and "pure"
They are like "small children" or "flowers", SURE!
They roll off your cheeks like lover's lure
And slide down your neck, fragrant "haute couture"

A raindrop, touch your bosom, permitted
Touch your heart, cold, yet warmth intimated
Dance to the beat, time limited
Roll down to planes, men inhibited

The raindrop hides in broad daylight
As your body shakes in delight
Rolls down further out of sight
And awaits safe passage, through the night

Come morning, the raindrop, reached
The "holy grail", "birth of man", "lovers' beach"
The "sacred feminine" so they teach
Life is so simple, "ain't that a peach"?

After, at "lover's beach", a tan
The raindrop follows, path of any Man
To the thighs of strength, where warm veins ran
Made you a woman beyond a "pan"

Rolled down the raindrop, till rest point, red
Met proud "Prada", a good friend, even goes to bed
Asked "don't you ever come off?", enough said
"I'll be on her even when she's dead"

At the end of its journey the raindrop caused
Her to look back at life when the whole world paused
To applaud her will, wit, was
At the edge of her toe the rain drop froze

Why are women?

Why are women so smooth and suave?
Their skin so tender, subtle like ocean's wave
So much so men so clever so brave
Lay down crowns, arms and graves

Why is a man so powerless over a woman?
Is it nature, genetics or mystical web woven
Why are those lips so succulent, man's life ruin
The strong spirit of a woman, god's brewen

Why can't I resist her annoying chatter?
Why can't I resist her false flatter
Why can't I resist Her, what does it matter
A woman is a Witch, a Sorceress, this or latter

Me being a man, do not understand
Why I long for a woman every time I stand
Dream of a woman in my hand
Far away from the world, in a mythical land

A woman is not an object for men to trust
A woman is not just smooth curves and bust
God is powerless man condemned to dust
Women rule the universe, kitchens, love and lust

Why do women close their eyes, I wonder?
Why do they cuddle up to chest, dream of yonder
Am I so drunk or are these points, ponder
A woman needs a man, dreams her launder

Without a man, just flesh, a woman's body and skin
Her painted nails, lips, tight jeans, limbs
Colorful dreams, extravagant means
A man is a woman's king, god and her life's climatic scene

Is this "love"??

Love is not that song you sang to me
Love is not that poem you wrote for me
Love is not that smile you faked for me
Love is not "I Love you" you swore to me

What is love I think every night
Is it you in bed holding me tight?
Is "love" a word you throw around right
Love is just a game for you, play till light

My "love" for you is clean and true
I'll love you when you are happy or blue
This is what I say to you, you haven't a clue
Your wallet determines my next call to you

This is not love admit I must
This is just warmth and bargained trust
Dressed with half cloths, ironic lust
I have to score tonight else whole week dust

How pathetic I am to dress up each night
To attract people who love fabric tight
To go home with a man who ask me polite
Get off of my bed, go home, turn off the light

Culture is such a cursed word, let us live our lives
Yet in some cultures husbands love their wives
Every Friday they eat, drink and fight
Saturday morning they sleep late, no bus to catch, no regret, no plight

Before you

I had always wondered what a woman would taste like; Before I tasted you
I had always wondered what a woman would feel like; Before I felt you
I   had always wondered what a true woman would sound like; Before I heard you
I had always wondered what true Love was like; Before I started Loving you

In bed we lay naked loving each other so completely nave
I taste you, I feel you, I hear you, so far from heaven seemed the grave
In your arms I burnt in lust, so willingly playing the devil's slave
I prayed to god for once in my life, please god do not me save

A woman is like opium a Man cannot live without
A woman is like life support that fills manly lungs throughout
A woman is a curse a plague a sickness that infects a man's hearts sprout
You made sweet love to me all night my love, I'm infected no doubt

Yet after the fire has died, I taste her succulent lips
When her heart beats slower, I feel her shapely hips
Although not orgasmic, I hear her drink fresh air sips
Is lust love? I lay confused at end of lovers' whips

There are many things I do understand like why the sky is blue
Or why a rainbow has seven colours and not twenty two
Why the Sun sets in the west and rises in the morning dew
What baffles me is this muscle in me which refuses to stop loving you

I will taste you feel you and hear you for the rest of my day
I will hold you tight and let go fear as you on my chest lay
I will eat your bread and drink your vin in communion as I pray
I love you so much I love you so much I cannot enough say

The most beautiful thing a man would ever see

The most beautiful thing a man would ever see
Is the face of a woman on his chest
The most beautiful thing a man would ever see
Is the golden sun bleeding on her breast

The most beautiful thing a man would ever see
Is the blue in her eyes, when they are black
The most beautiful thing a man would ever see
Is the gentle curve of her slender shapely back

The most beautiful thing a man would ever see
Is the excitement on her neck
The most beautiful thing a man would ever see
Is the speed and passion of her breath

The most beautiful thing a man would ever see
Is her body aching for more
The most beautiful thing a man would ever see
Is her relaxing even when you're sore

The most beautiful thing a man would ever see
Is his face in her morning rise
Thus the beauty is not in her
But in a Man who is in a woman's eyes

How can we be equal???

How can we be equal???

No one is equal, in God's all seeing eye
That's why he made us, different as ocean and sky
If I become equal to you, as years go by
The world'd be such a dull place with me, I and I

"Buddha" said, "Karma governs us all"
What you did past, decides your fall
Even with "US" "worshiping" every "word", "tree", "cloth", "stone", "tooth", "bone", cold
We remain still, Murdering, Stealing, Cheating, Lying, Drunk, PATHETIC souls!

How can two be equal, I dare to ask
I may have good looks but not your wit or smarts
Your lover is gorgeous, in bed, heaven starts
I sleep alone, jealousy, anger, lust, growing fast

Today I have the same income as you
I ride, to work, the same brand of bike as you
I eat the same bread, as you, with rationed curry dhal stew
Yet, no children to fill my heart, I envy you

Thus, what's so equal about you and me?
Karma, dedication, passion, luck, hard work or fantasy??
I will always be different, riding my bike in ecstasy
When you curse your way, sweating, screaming misery

Rationed food can't solve this problem
Or riding a bike, except out of extreme boredom
That's why in history we have "Kings" and "Kingdoms"
Granting the gift of "SELECTION", "DIFFERENCE" and "FREEDOM"!

“Red to Black Venom Lack, Red to Yellow Kills a Fellow”

"Red to Black Venom Lack, Red to Yellow Kills a Fellow"

Enthusiasm or Patriotism as the German Flag flies High

A Coral snake differs form a Scarlet snake due to the fact that the Coral snake is lethal and the Scarlet is not. Yet both use the same Red, Black and Yellow colours to boast a sense of pride in their superiority and scream a word of caution in their deadly competitive spirit. Although the German flag stood for the metaphorical Coral snake half a century ago, today with the foot ball world cup its all good fun and competitive spirits as with the Scarlet. Thus the phrase "Venom Lack" is much more appropriate for the present even though a weary traveler could easily be intimidated by the brilliant sights, sounds and empty beer bottles which lay testament to the Blitz the Germans have had thus far in the world cup.

It is surprising and overwhelming to see the silhouette of red, black and yellow on every thing and almost every one that meets the eye. The German people have, after a long, rather shameful and most certainly painful six decades, have taken to heart that they are a very proud and competitive race at least in the world of football. One could argue that if a match of football was a battle, then Germany is at the forefront of a world war at this point in time. I remain at present, confident, that Germany would come out victorious on their home soil.

With the FIFA world cup, the German people have certainly opened up their doors and their hearts to the world. As with the golden sunshine pouring down form the heavens from dawn to dusk on a fantastic summer's day, warming the cold and damp German earth, the German people have also warmed up to the outside world, a multitude of nationalities, religions and cultures. Thus they walk, play, sing, dance, cheer and drink as one in the spirit of foot ball, truly making the world cup slogan "Die Welt zu Gast bei Freunden" or "A time to make friends" proud.

"Patriotism is a virtue of the vicious" they say and according to the rest of the world, Germany had proven this fact during the last century. Today it is a whole new and different ball game literally for today the budding patriotism is exhaled in a more constructive manner and thus changing the dark opinions of the world, regarding a majority of a mighty country.

Although a multitude of Germans cheer for other countries and other great teams like Brazil, a natural and inherent patriotism can be observed in the soft undertone of the loud hollers. This is in no means a bad thing for with a country, comes the love, naturally. In that love, Germany has erected monuments to the great achievements of technology, medicine and knowledge gifted to the world by the great minds of a great country. As the world sees Germany through a clear eye, banishing the gray filters of past prejudice, the bold monuments come to focus and tell a story of a great land and a much more humane people. Thus with the world cup and the open doors, Germany has once again regained its former glory as a country and a nation of proud people and rich history.

All flag waving aside, in beer comes people together. The wide screens and the exciting games are beheld by thousands and thousands of die-hard football fans every single day. Yet even amidst the deepest rivalry "Prost" is a common word heard and chanted by even the most hypnotic of football fanatics. Even though the German flag flies high in pride, it belongs to the mid summer winds and the heavens for on earth every one is enjoying a great German brew in a world cup - cup which proudly shows the golden beer through eight bright flags of compatriot nations. Thus in essence the world cup and the dissolved friendships are absorbed into every one through the great German beer.

In conclusion Germany has made an open and fantastic effort to change the opinions of the world regarding the common stereotypes. This effort has been as calculated, precise, accurate and punctual as the world-renowned German rail timetable and in my opinion the football world cup has been a blessing in disguise (the popular lion with the football). Thus even though the highflying flags and the football fanatic Germans seem intimidating, it's mostly enthusiasm towards the world cup and not the stereotypical German patriotism. Thus to the weary traveler or the outsider, the only word of caution would be to watch out for the fantastically cold German beer, the excitingly warm German hospitality and a cross between a Coral and a Scarlet for In my opinion Germany has become one of the most friendliest and warmly open countries in the whole world during this extraordinarily colourful and crazy football season.

Love in a Devil's eye

Love is lust in a Devil's eye
Caught in a moment flying high
Cruising in the wind, spread wings fly
Should be cautious else you die

Dieing is easy so they say
Falling down, cracked scull lay
Yet the soul's alive as you pray
"Please God take me, Take me away"

Then God shows the ultimate love
Keeps you alive conscious above
Heals the heart cures the brow
Sends an angel with a gift, fresh love

Then she walks in your newborn heart
Cupid aims but needless new dart
The heart blossoms, new life's start
It's so beautiful, a work of art

An angry Devil watches in pain
"I have a new plan, I give you fame"
Lifting the poor soul up, in vain
"The higher you go, fall, more the drain"

The poor soul falls without a doubt
Like a stupid highflying energetic Trout
Straight to depression, the Devil's mouth
"I have your soul!" He screams aloud!

Mohith and Chaya (Chapter 11-15)

Chapter 11

They never went bowling. Mohith was in bad shape. Yet he walked straight until they reached the Porsche and then he just leaned against it. Anna struggled in his pant pockets to find the car keys all the while trying to keep him from falling to the ground. She got the keys and put him in the passenger seat of the tight sports car. Mohith was a big man and Anna had to use all her strength, imagination and ingenuity to get him in. Being ever so stubborn she finally succeeded and had a long sigh of relief before getting into the driver's seat.

"You really are a drunken fool Mohith. But I understand now. I understand..."

Anna was nearly in tears herself. She drove slowly and got Mohith to his room with the kind assistance of Fernando. They removed his shoes and put him to bed. Fernando bid Anna good night and left Anna in Mohith's room. She felt so bad for the poor man. It was almost compassion that drove her to kiss his sleeping lips and to stroke his short hair. She left the night lamp on and locked the door on her way out to her room. She was so tired.

In her room, two rooms down the hall from Mohith's; she undressed and went into the shower. It was 2.30 in the morning and she almost certainly knew that she had to take Friday off as well. She was so sore all over. She tried to massage her neck in vain. She took a long hot shower and kept on thinking about what Mohith had confessed to her in the open-air restaurant right next to the Keg. She finally came out in a pink bathrobe wrapped around her aching body and a blue towel hugging her long hair. She went to the cocktail bar and poured her a scotch on rocks and sat down facing the great view she had of the city and the sea from ten stories up.



Chapter 12

The phone rang. Anna woke up and looked at the radio clock at her bed side. It was still six o'clock on a Monday morning. She let her eyes adapt to the dim light and focused again on the bright red digits of her clock. It was indeed six o'clock in the morning and this was not a dream. She wondered who would call her at this hour of the day.

"Hello"

"Dr. Anna Slovak?"

A fully awake and calm voice greeted her.

"This is she"

"Dr. Slovak, I am inspector De Silva. Sorry to wake you up so early maam... but it is very important that we talk to you regarding an urgent matter"

"It's ok Inspector. I was getting up any way. So how can I help you?"

"Well Dr. Slovak it's about Dr. Mohith Prasad."

"Ok..."

"Was Dr. Prasad known to you, Dr. Slovak?"

"Yes I know him. What's this all about? Is he ok?"

"Well, I regret to inform you Dr. Slovak that Dr. Prasad been in an accident last night. His body hasn't been recovered and he is presumed to be dead. I am terribly sorry."

The voice said as casually, professionally and as unemotionally as one could imagine.

The morning sun was peeping through the thick red velvet blinds of Anna's suit at the Hilton. The room was painted a soothing shade of pink and was richly furnished with bright Persian rugs and antique Sri Lankan wooden furniture. The golden rays of the morning sun brought with it the sweet fragrance of the fresh sea breeze. The gulls were up and about and the whole world was waking up and yet Anna felt like she couldn't wake her self up from the terrible nightmare she was experiencing.

As she lay on her canopy bed, frozen and terrified, she could see the pearl white ceiling spin in a fury. The white linens were no comfort to her as her whole body started to burn and her eyes started to melt. The violent shivers signaled an eruption of emotions as Dr. Anna Slovak burst into tears at the news of the death of her Mohith.

"Dr. Slovak, I am truly sorry for your loss maam but it is my duty to inform you that your presence is requested at the city police station of Colombo at your earliest convenience"

All Anna could hear was the sound of a dead phone as she held on to it as if holding on to life itself. The tears rolled off her pink cheeks and soaked her pillow as her deep blue eyes glistened empty as sapphires hugging the bottom of a red tumultuous ocean.  










Chapter 13

The suit on the tenth floor of the Hilton gleamed in a mud brick red. The blue ocean had turned into a bloody shade as the magnificent ball of fire sank into the distant horizon. Life itself was depicted as the mild fresh morning rays matured into a harsh golden inferno and bleed away into the distance as the day grew dark and cold. This was the first time Anna had realized that this was a constant reminder of the tragic fate that all of us are damned to at the end of the rainbow of life. Yet god is not completely unkind, she thought, for tomorrow will dawn a new sun giving hope and warmth to the cold and cruel world. But she knew that she would not see her Mohith tomorrow or ever again.

The half empty glass on the mahogany table blended into the evening with the precision and skill of a talented brush stroke. In the twilight the cold smoky liquor darkened, reminding Anna of the enormity of the tragic events she had endured since that dreaded call. The modern age had replaced the gray owl, the banshee and the grim reaper with a simple invention called the telephone and Anna wondered how it could turn any innocent soul into the messenger of death with a simple press of a button.

The day finally turned to night and Anna was lost in thought. She sat motionless staring at the waves and listening to the howling wind. She was alone and cold and had sought comfort in a bottle of Scotch which complemented her half empty glass. Even though the twenty year old liquor burnt down her throat she still felt cold and empty for her mind had ventured alone to the site of the watery grave which failed to comfort her lost lover.

The cold and empty shell of a charred and twisted monstrosity of metal gently rocked as the muddy water passed through and over it heartlessly.

"Dr. Slovak I presume. I'm inspector De Silva."

He could feel her hand tremble as they neared the edge of the cliff. It was still very cold for the sun had failed to lift the mist which followed the tropical storm the previous night. It didn't take an inspector of police to know that Anna's shivering body had nothing to do with the weather.

"Watch your foot, Doctor. The edge is loose. As you can see the storm last night has done a bit of damage to the area."

Indeed the storm had been violent. Anna could vaguely remember the fallen trees and the yards of electric wire dangling on the road as she drove to the scene. Every thing was a bright and fresh shade of green as the winds had carpeted the ground with vegetation. Anna stared blankly at the two skid marks on the road.

"Those are tire marks from the vehicle maam. The Porsche was doing about two hundred and fifty kilometers an hour when it collided with the steel fence."

"What fence?"

"There was a fence here to protect vehicles from going over the edge."

"I can't see any fence inspector. Don't you think that if there was a fence here then that car wouldn't be down there?"

Anger quickly dissolved into tears as she buried her face in her trembling hands.

"I know this must be difficult for you Dr. Slovak" he said in the same unemotional tone which introduced himself in the morning.

"You will understand better what happened here, once we go down to the river and the vehicle"

The ride was bumpy and the Land Rover rocked violently as it struggled to battle the tree trunks and the debris on the narrow and muddy road. The four liter diesel engine deafened the ears and yet inspector De Silva insisted on talking all the way as they made slow progress towards the wreck.

"So how do you know the victim?"

"What?" Anna couldn't hear what the inspector was saying. She was lost in a land of sorrow and noise.

"How do you know Dr. Prasad?" The inspector yelled from the front seat.    

"We worked together. He was my boss"

"When did you last see him?"

"Ah........ Yesterday morning" She mildly hesitated.

"Where did you see him on Sunday Dr. Slovak?" Inspector De Silva's tone was getting firmer. He was calmly interrogating her.

Anna could remember exactly where she saw Mohith last. She remembered it all.

The stars blanketed the clear blue sky as Anna poured herself another scotch. The cubes of ice danced in the reddish liquor and sang in a soothing jingle. The strong spirit and the cold ice played tricks on her mind as she wrapped her quivering lips around the glass. The ice reminded her of the song the evening wind played on the metal wind chimes in the park. She remembered the long steel pipes hanging from the tall tree which had a name she could not pronounce. She remembered sitting down on the children's swing and listening to the chimes as they dangled lifelessly from above.

"Hey gorgeous, you need a hand with that?"

She remembered the strong hands massaging her shoulders and the warm breath whispering in her ear. She felt the cold of the wind disappear as the warmth of his chest wrapped her whole body in a blanket of desire.

"I beg your pardon Sir...." And she giggled.

"Let me show you, Dr. Slovak, how a simple swing works. It's simple harmonic motion really but I wouldn't even dream of boring you with the specifics. Besides a beautiful lady like you just wouldn't understand"

She could tell that Mohith was enjoying this innocent flirtation. She was also amazed to see that even after a decade of celibacy Mohith still had it in him.

"Well Sir, I will have you know that I did have elementary school education before I got my doctorate. So you need not explain the simple laws of physics to me"

She tried to put on a straight face but the happiness was much more stubborn than she had anticipated. She was being charmed by the man she had been dreaming of for the past couple of years. Anna was determined to enjoy every moment of it.

"Well excuse....... me for trying to teach you the mechanics behind it. I guess I'll just have to skip the chit chat and get right to business ha?"

"And what business would that be?"

"The business of sweeping you off your feet"

Anna screamed in joy as she was literally swept off her feet into mid air. Mohith had strong hands and she could feel the thrust on her slender back. With each push she was flying higher and higher. The tranquility of the evening was shattered as her laughs echoed through the park. Even the wind chimes had stopped their singing for the sheer beauty of a woman's voice was unmatched by any instrument known to man or god.

With each push Mohith whispered in her ear.

"Thank you"

The words slowly died down and Anna felt a shiver running down her spine. Instead of a whisper she felt Mohith's moist lips touch the skin of her slender neck. She closed her eyes as she let go of the ropes. She was flying high and didn't want to come down. As she came a little bit closer to heaven she whispered "please make him catch me". She came down fast as if falling from a dream. The wind hugged her back and kissed her hair. She shut her eyes tighter and gathered up all her love and courage to cuddle up in his arms. And yet he never caught her. She opened her eyes to see Mohith sitting on the wooden bench and staring at the stars.

Mohith and Chaya (Chapter 3-5)

Chapter 3

It was 12.30 pm on a Sunday, 5th June 2006. After a long hot shower and frozen pepperoni pizza, Mohith sat in front of the huge glass window in his room. This gave a great view of a maple tree, which almost always sang him to sleep. The unoccupied apartments on the other wing and a construction site for some more new apartments filled the background of the landscape. A lonely orange Crane sat in the middle, resting after a full five and a half days of construction work.

The window was Mohith's favorite pass-time. His desk was right in front of it and faced the view. He enjoyed listening to Guns and Roses on his laptop and just gazing out the window.

Today was no ordinary day for him. He just sat there with his face buried in his hands. It was hard to tell whether he was sobbing for Mohith was a steadfast man who tried very hard not to show a softer side of his being.

He remembers the long distance call in the morning and wonders whether it was a bad dream materialized from the cheap home made Vodka Martinis he had last night with two Olives. Yet he knew that it was not so and that he had a lot of thinking and worrying to do.

Mohith rarely called home or his fiancée for it was a bit too expensive to call overseas from Germany. He was here in Dortmund Germany attending Post Graduate classes at the University of Dortmund. He came to Germany for three months for a semester of Robotics and Automation before he flew off to The University of British Columbia, Canada for his Masters Degree in the same field of study. He always wanted to see Europe and experience the cold and wet weather. He loved it and the pleasure of having some of the best beer in the world along with German sausages, called "Wurst", was giving Mohith the time of his life.

Two weeks and two days had passed in sheer joy. Not a care in the world. The only major problem he faced was deciding on whether to have cheap Spanish CAVA champagne or to have cheap German Vodka. He liked them both. Yet the dreaded phone call made him realize that playtime was over and eight more weeks of suffering stood smiling in front of him.

"Hello"

Said Mohith in a sleepy, hung over manner. He instantly knew who had called for no amount of Vodka can deafen Mohith from hearing the sweet voice of his Angel, Chaya.

Chapter 4

Chaya and Mohith first met when they were doing their undergraduate degree at the University of Bangalore, India. They studied in an affiliated college to the Bangalore University. It was a nice college and housed a multitude of foreign students who were struggling to prove a point in a foreign and different land. Mohith was a major in Physics and Chaya in Micro Biology. To this very day, Mohith wonders how four years of his life always related to Chaya for they had nothing in common. They were as distant as the blue sky and the wavy ocean and yet through the fire of love they somehow managed to merge in the horizon and understand the beautiful souls inside each other.

"Do you know the time over here Chaya?"

Said Mohith in a failed effort to anger her. He loved her when she was angry. Her face turned red and always ended up in tears. Then he would have to be the bigger man and go make love to her. He loved it.

"I know the time over there Mohith. Its about 5.30 in the morning right"

The time difference between India and Germany was -3.30 hours and Chaya had just had breakfast and needed the caffeine in Mohith's voice to get on with the rest of her day.

"So why are you calling me so early?"

Not that it mattered to Mohith for he was thrilled to hear her voice.

"I am in a training session at the Lila Palace and just needed to be reminded that I have a fiancé who was dreaming about me in a cold, dark and wet country. You know with the competition over here and all. A girl just might forget. You never know."

Chaya was always better at teasing Mohith. She knew where to attack and knew that she was bang on target this time also for the Lila Palace was one of the most beautiful and luxurious hotels in Bangalore. Some say that it rates seven stars and houses the most wealthiest and sexiest of travelers, foreign and domestic.

"Yeah right!" Said a very jealous Mohith struggling not to sound like an idiot.

"I am here with Nimesh and we are having a great time. Nimesh gave me a lift home after work yesterday."

"What??" Shouted a very angry Mohith. The Vodka he had last night evaporating from his skin. Paradoxically the hangover just worsened.
At that very moment Chaya knew that she had gone too far with her little game.      

"Oh common Mohith! I was just playing with you. So tell me what did you have for dinner last night? You are eating right?? Don't you dare drink on an empty stomach!"

Chaya knew that Mohith enjoyed Vodka a little bit too much. She tried to stop it but in the end settled for balancing Mohith's diet with fruits and vegetables that would counter the corroding effects of the alcohol. Mohith knew this and some times had just one more for the road just for the extra attention given to him by his lovely nurse.

It may sound crazy but almost all Asian people felt good when asked about their last meal. They loved giving up the intricate details of it. Yet Mohith was too furious and jealous to hear her question. Even when they were freshmen in College, Mohith was a bit over protective of Chaya Patel. He didn't let her mingle with other guys and never let her even go to the cafeteria alone. Chaya found it very sweet but at times she was furiously annoyed. Yet Mohith kept on being the shadow which lingered on with every step Chaya took. After four annoying years Chaya learnt to live with it, enjoy it, love it and at times depend on it.

"He did what? And now he is there with you? Did he give you a lift to the hotel too Chaya? My God!" Mohith exclaimed.

"I'm out of the country for two weeks and you are riding around in this yahoos car. What was the name of that SOB again??"

Mohith knew all too well the name Nimesh. Nimesh was working with Chaya as an Assistant Marketing Manager. Both of them were marketers for a medium scale pharmaceutical company based out of Bangalore. They started work together one week ago and the name Nimesh always crept in and out of each telephone conversation, each e-mail and each sms Mohith and Chaya exchanged. It was starting to get serious.

"Listen Mohith; Nimesh didn't drive me here today. OK"

She lied, knowing full well that Mohith almost always called her bluff.

"We are here on a training program in marketing. He gave me and that other girl, who started work with me, a lift back home yesterday. No big deal!"

"Listen Chaya" said Mohith

 If my parents or my friends see you riding around in another man's car, especially when I am out of the country, what would they think of me? They'd think that I'm incapable of holding onto my woman and that she is a hoe"

There he finally said it. The word "hoe" echoed in Chaya's ears like a bullet to the head.

"Ok Mohith. If you think of me like that then maybe I am!" She hung up the phone and almost threw it away in fury.

"The drunken idiot" she said to herself.

Mohith just stood there dumbfounded and holding on to the receiver in shock. He wished that the Vodka was still in him and that this was just a drunken nightmare.

Chapter 5

It was about 7pm in the evening. The sun was still up and had started its slow decent into the ocean. The cold crept in like a welcome friend to Mohith. He had just woken up from his afternoon nap. It was all he could do to get his mind off the terrible telephone call.

"What time is it?" he said to himself.
"I need a snack" he thought and went to his mini bar.

He opened it and saw some sausages, salami, yogurt, frozen French fries, eggs and some frozen pepperoni pizza.

"Ah all health foods" He reached for the beer.

"Beer is a good snack"

He said to himself and sat down with a cheap Maternus Gold beer in a plastic bottle. He hated the plastic bottles but knew that if he was going to substitute water with beer then the beer would have to be cheap. Indeed the beer in the plastic bottle was a bargain for he got a six-pack for just under E1.50 where as a bottle of water would cost him about E1.50 flat. Mohith liked to brag that he hasn't had a single zip of water for two weeks now.

He finished one beer in what seemed to be a long moment and kept the empty bottle in a rack under his table.

"That goes into recycling. Better f...... world for every one else except me. It's always the case."

Then he grabbed another one and said to himself

"Conserver water, drink beer! That's the way to go"

This was one of Mohith's favorite slogans and he picked it up from a sweatshirt he saw in India, when he was a freshman in College.

Mohith was a big man. He was about 5-8 and weight about 90 kilos. He had started minding his weight after he gained a lot in College. When Mohith was in school he was a power lifter and he gave up his hobby after getting into University. He always said that he had no time to engage in childish hobbies because College was very hectic and demanding. Yet every one knew that he had sacrificed 3-4 hours at the gym, to be with Chaya a little bit longer. Thus after 3 years of no exercise, great fatty food, beer and great sex, Mohith was a bit over weight. Yet this didn't show much for he was a big man with an overall huge stature and biceps. The barrel chest, military haircut and the tattoo on his right bicep defined his features as more of a biker thug than a serious student. Yet he was, according to his entire faculty, a brilliant student. Mohith topped his batch in his final year exams and became unanimously the "Best Student" of that year. This was an honour awarded to one student each year for his outstanding academic achievements and originality. This resulted in Mohith getting the scholarship for his Masters Degree. Mohith was pleased to have received this accolade but remained indifferent.

He was later quoted as saying

"It was all good fun and the experiences I gained from not sitting at the front row, not being regular to class, not giving a damn about what the professors taught and getting drunk every single night were the most important achievements of my three year College life."

This was true. Every one knew that Mohith self studied most of the time arguing that his classmates were far below his "IQ". He hated the kiss-asses and always managed to get the professors' attention with a sly sarcastic smile and a wise crack from the very last row. His excuse for sitting there was "far sightedness" and yet Mohith had perfect eyesight and wore glasses just to make himself look a little bit more presentable. He sat at the very last row of every single class even when he was the only student present. The teachers didn't mind for no punishment could make Mohith change his stubborn ways. Yet paradoxically he was a brilliant and dedicated student.

Suddenly Chaya's words came to Mohith's mind.

"Don't you dare drink on an empty stomach!"

"Yeah right!" he thought but knew that Chaya was right as usual.

He went again into the mini-bar and picked up some French fries and sausages and left for the kitchenette to make himself a snack.

The common kitchenette was a compact one facing the common living room of the 5th floor. It had an electric four-burner stove, huge refrigerator, and an owen. Much to Mohith's surprise it didn't have a microwave and Mohith was so used to using a microwave when he was in College.

He waited for the stove to heat up and started frying the sausages in the hot butter. Then he fried his French fries on the same pan with no butter. It wasn't frying at all but just browning the fries for consumption. Mohith really didn't care at this point.

"Hello" said Kinga as she walked into the kitchen with a pot of water to boil. She was a coffee addict.

"Hey you" said Mohith managing a flirtatious smile.

Mohith liked Kinga from the first day they met in Dortmund. She was a Polish girl of about 23, shorter than Mohith, great body and brunet hair. Her English wasn't very fluent but she never made a mistake. Her vocabulary was a bit small compared to Mohith's but they managed to communicate well enough.

"Fries in a pan? That's something new" she said.

"It works." Said Mohith knowing full well that fries in a pan was not for enjoyment but just for consumption.

"Well if it works then it's good" said Kinga with a wink and Mohith knew that the secret was out about the pan-fried fries.

Kinga had short wavy hair she almost always wore down. Today was the first time Mohith saw her neck because of her ponytail.

"Great day to look sexy Kinga. Good thing I am so depressed"

Mohith and Chaya (cahpter 8-10)

Chapter 8

Ten long years had passed and for Dr. Mohith Prasad it had been a decade of sorrow, regret and loneliness. Anger had become a friend and depression an excuse. He drank lots more now in comparison to his twenties but never the cheap six packs in plastic bottles. He was making more money than he could spend and he always managed to spend a healthy part of it on getting, as he puts it "lavishly drunk".

Mohith works for the United Nations as a consultant for developing countries.
In ten years Mohith had achieved what few others ever had. He completed his Masters in British Colombia and went on to do his first doctoral in Birmingham, UK. He did a second PhD at MIT and also got an MBA form Yale. He was very highly decorated and was very much appreciated and respected among his peers, faculty and colleagues. Almost everyone liked him and they often tried to cheer him up only to fail miserably for Mohith was always turned inward and was immune to happiness, fun and laughter. No one could get close to him for Mohith made it a point not make his colleagues his friends. He traveled all over the world and visited the poorest of the poor in the world. He had a huge house, a mansion of sorts, in his hometown but was rarely seen in it. In fact he had not slept in it for more than ten nights after he had paid an outrageous sum for it. He had a Porsche 911, Ferrari 360 spyder and a Harley Davidson parked in his extravagant indoor garage. He loved cars and loved going for fast drives; and he certainly loved his Harley. Yet he always made it a point to hurry back to some country other than his own.

"It hurts too much to stay here and I really don't see the point. Those days are long gone my friends"

He says to his closest friends, when they beg and plead him to stay back and spend a couple of more days with them.

Mohith used to love parties and having fun with his friends, back when he was a freshman. He had five friends who he trusted with his life. He still does for those are the only five people he still calls friends and has a laugh with. They always know how to cheer him up and Mohith lowered his guard when with them. They are the only reason Mohith visits home once a year. They made it a strict policy not to mention Chaya whenever Mohith was with them.

Mohith and his friends grew up together. They had been together through kindergarten to college. After Mohith left the country they had kept in constant contact and had been there for Mohith all through his miserable ten years. They loved Mohith very much for what he was. In the good old days they used to go camping all night under the stars. It was mostly on Saturdays and they called it "guys night out" or "happening night".  Around the huge campfires they had seafood BBQ. He could still smell the tiger shrimp and crabmeat on the BBQ. He loved shrimp and crab although he had given it up for Chaya. They drank beer and vodka all night and played the guitar. Mohith was known to have a great singing voice although he almost always sang only when he was with his friends and surely drunk. Even when he was all alone in the fanciest and most exclusive hotel room in some developing country, getting drunk on the most expensive local liquor and dining on the most exquisite dishes the chefs could conjure up, he always thought about those days when he was just another normal guy who had a lot of cheap and innocent fun. Almost always it brought a tear to his eye for with the happiness he remembered, Chaya was always by his side like a shadow. And yet now he was like a ghost with no love or happiness inside him and no shadow.







Chapter 9

Dr. Anna Slovak, a tall brunette Polish research scientist with slender features and a brilliant mind, reminded Mohith of Kinga and the horrid and unfortunate events he experienced ten years ago in Germany. Maybe this is why Mohith also secretly liked Anna so much and was also terrified of her. She was very attractive in a profound sort of way and was about twenty-seven years old. She was immediately attracted to Mohith not only for his brilliance but also his kind gentle manners and even his teddy bear features.

Anna was working with Mohith in his team of experts. They traveled together from country to country, stayed in the same hotel and when Mohith rarely went to the restaurant to have dinner, had dinner together. She was trying really hard to understand Mohith but he never let her get close to him. He even adopted the tactic of ordering room service to discourage Anna and yet she was stubborn as any European woman and never gave up.

Mohith had just got back from a meeting and was undressing in a suit at the Hilton Colombo, Sri Lanka. Mohith had been working very closely with Sri Lanka, a small island located just south of India, for Sri Lanka was very much similar to India in cultural and natural aspects. This pleased Mohith very much for he could enjoy all the things he liked about home without thinking about it or his life there. Sri Lanka, formally known as Ceylon or the "Pearl of the Indian Ocean" was a British colony until 1948 and is known world wide for the exclusive black Ceylon tea, the beautiful gems, the natural rubber, coconuts and the tsunami in 2004, which almost wiped out most of the coastal region. All this didn't matter to Mohith. He just loved the sandy beaches, the great coconut arrak, a local liquor made of coconuts, the silver Porsche Boxter he had rented for the duration of his stay and the great seafood he had almost every day.  

A knock on the door startled Mohith. He had called in for a bottle of "Old Reserve" coconut arrak and some soda but he didn't expect them to be this fast.

"Hold on for a moment will ya" Mohith shouted in annoyance.

"After all this time they choose today to be punctual" he said to himself groaning with the usual frustration and depression he had before a drink.

He went to the door half naked and opened the door. There she was. Like a movie star. Nicely tanned all over and wearing a blue string bikini with a silk tropical skirt wrapped around her shapely hips. Her washboard abs were prominent and screamed raw feminine magnetism. She hadn't lost her perfect form since she had stopped swimming for her University swimming team. She loved water and swam for hours every day. She had flowers in her hair, a gorgeous coconut shell necklace around her neck and a cold cocktail in her hand. She sipped it sensually in front of Mohith and held the door back like a police officer questioning an uncooperative witness. She had taken the day off and had been lounging by the pool getting a perfect tan and zipping cocktails all day.  

"Hey Mohith wanna go out tonight? There's this nice little pub called the Keg close by and they serve very good beer. I heard from Fernando that Thursday night they featured a local rock band called "Wild Fire" and that they are really good."

Fernando was the poolside bar tender. A lively old man with a gray goatee and gray hair. Fernando knew Mohith well because he served him coconut arrak and soda every evening. He also knew that Anna was trying to impress Mohith and wasn't making much progress.

"Great idea Fernando. Remind me not to tip you next time"

Mohith mumbled to himself

"Ah...not today Anna. I...I'm..."

Mohith was trying to think of an excuse but was finding it very difficult to turn down Anna's sweet invitation. She looked so hot. Even though Mohith had tuned out all the love, feelings and happiness from his life he was still human and did appreciate beautiful things.

"Oh common Mohith. You need the fresh air and excitement. It won't hurt that huge brain of yours to have some fun once in a while you know"

"It's not that. I...I have some work to do"

Anna knew that he had nothing to do except eat fried shrimp and drink coconut arrak. She knew that he loved it. She had to play her ace.

"I hear they play Guns and Roses and Creed really well"

Anna knew that Mohith listened to GNR and Creed every single night when he was drinking. She also knew that he had been playing the same ten songs every night over and over again for the past three years that she had known him. What she didn't know was that Mohith had been listening to the same ten songs over and over again for the past fifteen years. Even though some people hadn't even heard of GNR or Creed in this modern time, Mohith always stuck to his favorite ten songs.

"Well let me get dressed ok. I'll meet you outside in ten"

"I don't know... You look sexy like that." she gave a sly smile and a playful wink.

It reminded Mohith of the sly smile he received from Kinga and the pan-fried fries. It was a shame how things didn't work out between them. But Mohith never regretted it.

"Shit happens and bad shit happens to losers like me. Its life" He tried to put away the image of Kinga out of his mind.

Mohith was trapped. Anna was good. She got Mohith excited about listening to a live rock band and they didn't play Mohith's songs anywhere else these days.

"God damn..."

Mohith was cussing all through his shower but he was really looking forward to the music. He came out soaking wet and put on some of his favorite Brute aftershave. He never dried himself with a towel and always let nature take care of it. It made him cool down. He then got into some blue jeans. Put on a black cotton long sleeved shirt and rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. He kept the top two buttons of the shirt open and grabbed the keys to his silver Porsche.

"Here we go. Take it easy old chap. You are allowed to have fun and every woman is not Chaya"


Chapter 10

He raced his silver Porsche to the pub. At that moment Anna caught a glimpse of how happy and energetic Mohith could be if he wanted to. She almost laughed in happiness in seeing Mohith smiling whenever he shifted the synchromesh gearbox and floored the throttle. The Porsche got them there in less than three minutes. But it felt like all the three years that she knew him didn't even come close to these three magical minutes. She was so happy and so was Mohith although he didn't want to show it.

The Keg was a nice and cozy place. It was dimly lit and had a nice polished teak bar.

"If there is one thing these tropical countries are known for it's their wooden furniture". Mumbled Mohith.

Anna pointed to a table that was facing the band. Mohith also didn't mind it because he wanted to listen to the music and avoid any uneasy conversation with Anna. They sat down and some of the local heads turned. Mohith fit right in with the locals for he was exactly like a Sri Lankan and dressed in a similar fashion to the wealthy Sri Lankan teens and the hot Sri Lankan couples who enjoyed the music.

Although Sri Lanka isn't a very big country it housed some really wealthy people and most of these were intellectuals. Mohith remembered reading something about the literacy rate of the Sri Lankans in Time Magazine, when he was in college. It said that the Sri Lankans had a literacy rate of ninety two percent and was the highest in any country in Asia or maybe even the world.

"They are looking at you. You look so handsome tonight. I have never seen you wear this shirt before. Is it new?"

Said Anna trying to start a conversation. Of course she had seen that shirt before. Mohith wore only black shirts and this was his favorite. It didn't matter because he did look kind of handsome in it.

"Don't joke Anna. They are looking at you and wondering why a gal like you walked in with a looser like me"

This was true to some point for Anna looked gorgeous. Her blue eyes gleamed in the dimly lit pub and her blue jeans and white v-neck silk top, caught even the beautiful Sri Lankan girls by surprise. She was stunning and even though Mohith hasn't held a woman in ten years he could imagine how she would feel in his arms tonight.

"Great day to look sexy. Man if she can get me excited she must be scorching. Good thing I'm so depressed Anna."

He thought to himself.

"What would you like to have Sir?"

A waitress in a blue shirt and black pants came to them.

"What would you like to have Anna?" He said trying to be the gentleman.

"I will drink any thing you want tonight. You finally took me out. It's your night!"

She said and winked to the waitress. She understood immediately and brought them two pitchers of the best Sri Lankan beer. They both filled their mugs and Anna insisted on making a toast.

"To the most brilliant scientist and the most miserable human being I have ever met"

Mohith didn't mind the toast. It was true and he knew it. He kind of liked it.

"Cheers to that!" and they had a loud first beer.

The beer was good in Sri Lanka. Not the sort of beer Mohith had in Germany but it wasn't bad. They were drinking fast and the band was playing loud. As Fernando had suggested they were really good. When they played "Sweet child O'mine" by GNR Mohith was almost on his feet jumping up and down. He was laughing. He was laughing. Anna was so happy that she wiped away a tear before getting up and dancing. Every one in the pub was staring at them. Wild Fire played louder and harder only for them. They just didn't care and didn't see any one else's stares. Mohith was, for a moment, that 20 year old who danced the night away when he heard a band play GNR in Bangalore.

Then he just sat down. It was so abrupt that Anna, Wild Fire and even every one else who was watching them were dumbfounded by this sudden change. It was like Mohith switched in to the miserable mode in a split second. Anna wouldn't be surprised if he did this using his fantastic robotic behavior experiments but now she actually thought that Mohith indeed was the robot.

He sat down too. The song wasn't over but the pitchers were. She ordered two more and looked at Mohith.

"What's wrong Mohith? What happened?"

Mohith was holding back a tear. Anna saw it. She immediately left Mohith alone. She didn't want to ruin it by asking him stupid questions. She ordered some fried shrimp and fries to cheer Mohith up but he was going through the beer even faster now.

The music became slower. The mood laid back. Mohith didn't utter a word for half an hour now. He was going through the second plate of shrimp and fries. He had finished the second pitcher and was going to order a third one when Anna gave him her pitcher which was untouched. She knew she would have to drive them back home so she held back, looking at this sad wretch in front of her.

Finally Mohith looked up at the band. He was really drunk.

"Can... you play My Sacrifice by Creed for me please"

They immediately obliged and they played it beautifully. Mohith was really fighting tears now. He remembered how he sang it to Chaya. How he held her in his arms and looked into those big black eyes and whispered.

"When you are with me, I'm free, I'm careless, I believe, Above all the others we'll fly, This brings tears to my eyes, My Sacrifice"

He was singing along and now Anna saw the tears roll of his cheek. She listened to the lyrics and understood what was going on in Mohith's shattered mind. She asked for the cheque and paid it before the song ended. Then as it finished she got up and said

"Mohith take me home"

Ever the gentleman Mohith got up and escorted her out. She was amazed to see that Mohith still walked tall and straight. He was surely drunk and a miserable wretch but he still held his pose as a gentleman. Anna was falling in love with him. He was a real "man".

Before they got to the Porsche she saw a sign that spelled "Space Bowling" in bold purple neon words. She knew that she was going to regret this but she sucked in a deep breath of the warm city air and said

"I want to go bowling"

Mohith and Chaya (chapter 6-7)

Chapter 6

"Do you like shrimp? I just love it."

"Yep I like shrimp and I love crab but I'm allergic to crab! Life is cruel" said Chaya, reaching for the sautéed tiger shrimp which looked so tempting in a delicious shade of pink.

Chaya found out that she was allergic to crab, very late in her life. She had a lot of sweet and sour crab one day and ended up looking like a suffocating swollen orange. From that day onwards Mohith also didn't even mention crab even though he loved it.

"Well I am not" said Nimesh and went diving into the crab salad.

The salad bar at the luxury hotel was impressive. Exotic salads with an assortment of seafood, meat and vegetables put on an almost aesthetic display of colour and beauty.

"You know what Chaya, this training is starting to get a little bit boring. No complaints about the food though. What do you say we skip naptime and Dr. Patrick's little bed time story and head off to shoot some pool or something?"

"You know I can't do that Nimesh. I can't be fooling around with you. I am engaged!"

"Ah right! I forgot. You have the ring of ownership on you, Lord of the Rings."

He frowned.  

"By the way I saw you make a call in the morning. Mohith? How is he? Enjoying the beer and the European women no doubt"

"Give him a break Nimesh. He's all alone over there and the only thing he can do is drink. I know Mohith. He doesn't fool around with other girls. He loves me more than his life"

This was true for after meeting Chaya Mohith didn't even look at another woman. He was a devotee of Chaya and worshiped her every single day.

"The best part of my day"

Chaya remembered Mohith's sweet voice as he greeted her every morning and took her to breakfast. Mohith was a real romantic, Chaya knew, and loved to be pampered and spoiled by him. Yet there was just something about Nimesh that made Chaya want to explore further. He was totally different from Mohith and made Chaya feel like a normal girl on whom a normal guy was hitting on.

Dr. Patrick's presentation was indeed boring to Chaya. The great food made her sleepy and left her longing for Mohith. Just as she was dozing off to dream land with Mohith, Nimesh whispered in her ear

"Hey babes don't sleep on me now ok. I can't be listening to this guy all by myself. Lets go somewhere. Anywhere you want. I promise I'll be a gentleman"

This did sound tempting to Chaya for she was already asleep and wanted to hold Mohith in her arms.

"Ok Nimesh you win. Let's get out of here. Take me bowling"

Chaya loved bowling. Mohith had taught her how to bowl and she has been a fan ever since. She used to go bowling with Mohith all the time. She remembers how he held her close while pretending to teach her the correct follow through and how he kissed her when she made a strike. She always tried to strike for she loved to see Mohith's sweet face and cuddly arms just waiting to send her to a place she didn't want to return from. All the beer and the dinner after bowling almost always ended up in bed. They loved each other very much and made love all night trying to merge their bodies into one silhouette of love, trust, pleasure and happiness. The thought of bowling was like a cappuccino for Chaya and she got up excitedly as the adrenaline of expectation rushed through her body.

In a split second Nimesh and Chaya had vanished to a place of excitement, expectations and risk. They had unknowingly started a chain of events that would end in tragedy. Yet it was impulsive and both of them enjoyed the gush of excitement filling their bodies like a twenty-year-old Scotch whisky, home made, in a small, cold and dark Scottish village.    

Chapter 7

The dust seemed to be settling and for the past two weeks Mohith pretty much kept to himself. He was either in class or in his room. He didn't go out much. Not even to the bar downstairs to watch the football world cup and have a "Wissebier".

Mohith was not a big football fan. He didn't even understand what all the excitement was about. India was not a country known for its football but if cricket was mentioned, Mohith was all ears. "Never talk about religion or cricket when in India", they say. Both the words are the same to the Indians. They are so very passionate about it and get offended often.

Mohith loved the parties in Germany that came with the world cup. It was crazy and colorful. Every one was dressed in bold colors that screamed support for their favorite team. The sweet but strong smell of beer in the streets, the shouting, the dancing and the music just overwhelmed any one who wasn't expecting it or ready for it. Mohith came to Germany during the world cup to enjoy this new sensation. He immediately liked it and fell in love with it. He often went to the German and Irish pubs to have some of the best beer he had ever tasted along with a game of football on the big screen. Weiss bier, a very much sort after German beer which translated to white beer, and the shouts and cheers of the enthusiastic football fans were Mohith's favorite mix for a Friday evening; and yet he did not even go out on Friday.

The phone rang. After two dreaded weeks the phone finally rang. Mohith was all cuddled up in his thick blanket and was trying to sleep. It had become warmer in Germany and the summer was really in full swing. Mohith was sweating and didn't really enjoy it. He escaped the hot summer of India to come to a place where he didn't have to sweat and yet now ironically he had no choice.

"Damn summer weather. They take away the fans and the air-conditioning because it's cold most of the year and conveniently forget to put it back when it's hot"

Mohith was soaking in sweat and yet he cuddled himself even more in the thick blanket for he wanted to feel something that would comfort him. The sweat reminded him of home and Chaya. Between the soaked bed linen and the thick blanket, Mohith managed a little peace of mind and a soft smile.

"Hello Mohith. How are you?"

A soft and sad voice flowing through the receiver greeted an excited and sweating Mohith.

"I'm ok Chaya. How are you?"

"I'm fine"

The words lingered followed by a long sigh.

"Didn't you miss me even a little bit Mohith?"

Now the soft voice was getting softer and was on the brink of tears.

"Of course I missed you. I missed you so much. Please don't cry. It's been two weeks since we last spoke and... and I want to apologize..."

Mohith was also fighting tears and was at a loss to explain whether the tears were of joy from hearing his beloved's voice or from absolute regret from not calling her sooner.

"I have... I have something to tell you"

The soft voice was unrecognizable now. Mohith could just imagine Chaya's face as the tears flowed down her rosy cheeks onto her bosom. He was so angry with himself for not being at her side holding her tight to his chest. He fought off the pain and tried to act the commonly defined part of the "man".

"What is it Chaya? Tell me"

The words that followed changed Mohith's life forever.

Mohith and Chaya (Chapter 1-2)

Chapter 1

As the thump of the windshield vipers battled the howling tropical storm, the raw power of the V6 engine prevailed as it penetrated the thick blanket of tropical rain. The narrow winding road was taking the silver Porsche Boxter uphill. Mohith could barely see the road as he opened the window and gazed out to locate the slippery edge. At over one hundred kilometers an hour the only thing a soaked and insanely drunk Mohith could make out was the angry body of water gushing in a muddy chocolate a hundred feet down the steep and jagged slope. Fascinated and yet uninitiated, he floored the Porsche and cornered like an expert. Even under the influence of alcohol, Mohith was known to be an excellent driver for he had lived and loved cars ever since he had stopped riding the baby seat of his father's Ford.

The cold rain started to clear Mohith's head. Even through the darkness and the downpour he could now see the road clearly. He had been preparing for this dreaded moment for the past week and now it was here. He had rehearsed it so many times in his mind that he knew exactly what was going to happen in the next few seconds of his life. Now he just had to live it. He shifted the synchromesh gearbox into fifth and floored the throttle. The small sports car screamed as it ripped through the water and sped forward. Like a silver arrow it gleamed in the lightning and shone its xenon head lamps on a half broken roadside safety fence which gleamed in a luminescent white and red to signal the edge of the road and the gates of hell. Seeing the fence straight ahead, Mohith shifted into sixth. He could hear his wounded heart beating rapidly and slowing down to a calm relaxed rhythm. The rain drops hit the windshield and splattered into smaller droplets before being escorted rudely off the glass by the swish of the viper blades. The speedometer paused as if time itself had frozen and finally, after ten long and painful years, Mohith was at peace with himself. He could hear his own thoughts and his own voice as he sang his favorite song. Finally he had gotten over her. Finally he was free.

The car was doing over 200 kilometers an hour and was headed steadfast to the fence.

"This is it" said Mohith in a low chilly tone. Yet one could hear happiness, contempt and even enthusiasm in his words. He laughed whole heartedly after a long decade and realized that it didn't hurt to do so anymore.

"Please god..., have mercy on this poor soul.

A confused laugh followed.

There is no god and I'm going straight to hell for what I am about to do..."

A sinister laugh and a loud blast echoed through the cold monsoon night as the car rammed through the fence and leaped off the edge of the cliff into the bloody jaws of death an eternity below.

Chapter 2

The phone rang. The sun was just breaking through the heavens and the room was still quite dark. It rang again, waking up a sobering Mohith Prasad. He knew it could be only one of two people. His Mother or his Fiancée. Mohith rushed to the telephone that was placed two steps away from the cozy bed.

It was a small room in a high-rise building. Carpeted floors, as usual, to keep the feet insulated from the penetrating cold. Modestly furnished with a small stool, reading table, reading lamp and Mohith's favorite, the small mini-bar tucked into a nice opening under the ironing table.

The cold shot through his skin like hypodermic needles. Mohith had never experienced any thing like it all his life. Mohith came from a modern Indian family. He had lived the whole twenty-two years of his life under the protection of his loving parents. Bangalore, a capitol city belonging to the state of Karnataka, was Mohith's birthplace and his hometown. Contrary to the image brought forth by the mentioning of India, Bangalore was quite a cosmopolitan city. It was once the "Information Technology Hub" of Asia and a place filled with people who loved McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Coca-Cola and Microsoft.  

There was some thing uniquely American or Western about Bangalore. It was a place where guys hung out in "Hip" outfits and girls in kinky mini skirts. In essence Bangalore was more American than Indian and yet somehow through the endless parties and the nightlife, a sense of ones own always prevailed. They never forgot who they were and where they came from.

A cold night's thought

Here I am in this cold foreign land
No one to talk to no money in hand
How I miss you, I can't understand
The way I kissed you on the white marble sand

"Darling I love you", I uttered in lust
Yet I didn't mean it, admit I must
I enjoyed her love and her kind loving trust
Now I know; without her I'm damned to dust

Thus, to god I pray, every day
Let me see her let me say
In her arms, warm, loving, stay
I did my love, for my sins, pay

I hope to stand tall and right
Holding her, my body, tight
Staring in those big eyes bright
"Love me darling, love me tonight"

Yet I am here, alone and cold
Lost in memories of times so old
I had her love, yet I wasn't enough bold
Now I'm damned for life, my soul, devil, sold